Procrastination, Character, and Christian Masks

I realize this post is WAY overdue. I've thought a dozen times about writing it. Even started writing it down on paper once or twice when I wasn't near my computer. I recently watched a sermon series on responsibility and realized that my procrastination, which I've become very good at, is irresponsible. So, I'm working on being more responsible. This post is one of several things that I have on my "to do" list.

 Recently I have felt like my life is in limbo. I've had to put Do Justice on hold and I’m not sure when I’ll be able to go back to it. Not knowing where God is taking me in the next stage of my life has been frustrating at times. Job searching is time consuming and not exactly easy on the ego. Recently, I’ve been trying to use this time to reflect and grow in my character. I read a book called Heroes and Monsters by Josh James Riebock (I highly recommend it) and this excerpt from the book sums up the crossroad where I am at right now:

“Bold people dream ‘bout careers. But character dreams are reserved for the bravest. ‘S too bad, though. If people was less obsessed with changin’ the world and more concerned ‘bout changin’themselves and playin’ a role in a few lives around ‘em, then the world wouldn’t need so much changin’ to begin with.”

 At first reading, this almost sounds contradictory to what I believe. Aren’t we supposed to care about others; to desire justice for the oppressed and care for the widows and orphans? Isn’t that what God wants us to do after all? And character dreams….what are they anyways? I guess this all ties back into what I mentioned earlier: procrastination, responsibility, all that good stuff. I’ve realized there are a lot of moments in my life when I could have made a better choice, when I could have taken a moment to really listen to what someone had to say, to stop and take time to talk to the homeless person on the street, or to send someone an encouraging text or phone call. I find it’s too easy to not make that phone call, or to not take the time to listen to someone fully. Bruce Main, in his book Spotting the Sacred (yes, I’ve been reading a lot lately. The best part of being out of college I assure you, is to finally have the opportunity to read the books that I want to read), puts it this way:


“We all know that it is easy to put on a mask of faith and make an appearance of really living the Christian life. We show up at church, put our dollar in the gold offering plate, and conduct ourselves in a moral manner. We even sit on a few boards that promote good works in the community. Its easy to appear Christian. But there is a significant difference between demonstrating external signs of Christian faith through our public behavior and being truly loving in a Christian way. Too often we call ourselves Christian yet live quite selfishly and meagerly. Love must be an internalized attitude that moves us beyond certain instinctive “me first” codes of conduct.”   


Christian masks. I find that term so interesting. But what do christian masks and character dreams have to do with each other? I think it all goes back to the famous passage in 1 Corinthians 13, the “love chapter”, where Paul outlines for us what love truly is. We can give to the poor in abundance but if it is not done out of a pure heart filled with love, not pity or self righteousness, than it is nothing. What would life look like if we all strove to love more? Imagine if we all were more patient and kind. Imagine what the world would be like if people were not self seeking or easily angered or did not delight in evil. The world truly would be a better place. In my mind I often think of grandiose ideas and want to run off and save the world. But for now I will be content to work on my character and use the time I have to invest in the lives of those around me; whether it’s my coworkers, the children at my school, or my friends and neighbors. It’s not going to be easy, I have a burning desire right now to go to Hatiti, or anywhere for that matter, to run off and save the world, to take a break from the daily grind of life.  But all I have is right now. I don't want to spend right now jealous of all of the people I know who are getting married (or already married!) while I'm still single. Or the friends I know who are following their dreams and have started their careers, or who have traveled the world while I have stayed at home. Sure, this might not be how I envisioned life, but none of that matters becuase this is the life I am living and every moment counts. Right now God is teaching me to be patient and wait on Him. It’s not going to be easy, but you'd better believe it’s going to be worth it.