Post Haiti Reflections: Break my Heart

It was three months yesterday that I touched down in Haiti. I still remember the confusion of staring at a sea of people outside the airport, wondering which person was there to pick me up. I’ll never forget the confusion and fear I felt wondering why God had brought me to this country by myself when I knew no one. What could God possibly want with little ole me? I now long to be back in this beautiful, broken country. To walk alongside the friends that I’ve made. To love on the children. To pray with Lukeney, Watson and the other boys as they crawl in their bunk beds and go to sleep. To talk with NeNe about life. To wake up by the ocean and watch the sun rise and praise God for the work He is doing in Haiti.  

Sometimes I'm not sure where to begin when someone asks me about my trip. Do I tell them about the amazing people I met, how beautiful the country is, or the crippling poverty that forces many parents to give their children over to orphanages? I made some of the most amazing memories while there. I rode my first moto (motorcycle), drank glo (water), had Creole lessons by the boys at the orphanage, drank coconut water straight from the coconut while in the ocean, and worshiped alongside Haitians. I met some of the most amazing godly Haitians who are working hard to serve God and help the people of Haiti,as well as some amazing Americans working in Haiti. I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to work with Touch of Hope while in Haiti and stay at their orphanage, Tytoo. I love the people there and the organization and the work they are doing in Haiti to provide the people of Simonette with a hand up, not a hand out. In addition to the orphanage they have a clinic, school, and several, outreach programs; the Denim Project and Starfish Program. The Denim Project employs several women to sew items such as headbands, aprons, place-mats, coasters, etc. The work they do is beautiful and provides an income for them to help support their family. The products are sold at local stores in Haiti as well as taken back to the U.S. to be sold. The starfish program meets every other Tuesday and teaches women skills and provides support and encouragement to the women as they each strive to be self-sufficient. The goal of the starfish program is to prevent admissions to the orphanage. I had the opportunity to sit in on a starfish meeting and while I couldn't understand what was being said I could see the love and camaraderie these women have for one another and watched as they eagerly learned how to knit.  The social worker in me loved seeing these community outreach programs and the lives that have been transformed through these programs.

Break my heart Lord, for the things that break your heart, was the prayer I continually prayed while down in Haiti, and continue to pray. I lost my phone while I was in Haiti, leaving me with little contact with the world outside Simonette. Yet God used that experience to draw me closer to Him. Sitting on the porch swing overlooking the ocean in the early morning or late at night while reading God’s word (instead of surfing facebook) were sweet times with the Savior who ordained this trip to Haiti, even while I had my doubts about my being there. Post Haiti has been an adjustment. Life doesn't seem to slow down to give you time to recoup and reflect. Sometimes I can go a whole day without thinking of Haiti, other times out of the seemingly blue a memory of my time in Haiti will pop into my mind. I was in Old Navy the other week shopping with a friend and was struck by how fortunate I am to have money to buy clothes. One of the most poignant moments during my trip was the times I got to spend with one of staff. I asked him about his dreams. He wanted to be able to feed his family three meals a day. Because he is the only family member employed he is also supporting extended family on both his and his wife’s side in addition to supporting his wife and kids. He knows he is blessed to have a job and goes to work every day with a smile on his face and an attitude ready to face whatever tasks may come his way. His other dream; to have a small emergency fund to be able to pay for any unexpected expenses, such as medical emergencies or truck repairs. It brought tears to my eyes to hear of these simple requests.

The problems in Haiti seem overwhelming at times and it is hard to know how to help, especially from an ocean away. I am hosting a jewelry fundraiser to raise money for The Starfish program and the Gambrill family (missionaries to Haiti). Please see my facebook page for more info on this if you are interested in buying jewelry to support a good cause. I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I trust in the God who holds my future.  I would LOVE to return to Haiti, God willing. If anyone is interested in joining me on a life changing mission’s trip please send me a message. I would like to return next year, hopefully in the spring/summer.

I'm going to Haiti...and I have a place to stay!!

For the past few weeks, there was a real possibility that I would not have a place to stay while in Haiti. Last Saturday I received a call from an acquaintance I reached out to who has been to Haiti several times who has been a real blessing to me, not just in assisting me with finding a place to stay, but also in preparing for the trip.. He called to let me know that he had two potential places/people who may have space available for me to stay with them while in Haiti. The first, is an organization called Tytoo Gardens, the other was with a social worker who is working in the mountains in Haiti. After a week of praying for wisdom and waiting to find out whether Tytoo Gardens would have space for me, I finally heard from their director and was told they would be able to house me. As much as the social worker in me wanted to go off on an adventure with this social worker Tausha who is working in Haiti, I felt peace about choosing to go work with Tytoo Gardens.

Tytoo Gardens is located in the village of Simonette which is about 40km from Haiti's main city Port Au Prince. Tytoo Gardens cares for orphans, helps orphans and local children attend school, assists locals in ensuring they have access to basic health care, and provides elders with food and necessities. While Tytoo does have an orphanage they have also developed programs to assist mothers in caring for their children so that they do not have to give them up because they cannot care for them. I am so excited that God has opened this door. I feel that Tytoo Gardens has similar values to mine and cannot wait to meet the children at the orphanage and the families who are a part of their starfish program ( a program that provides support to women so they can care for their families), as well as learn about all the other programs and meet all the other people whom they work with.

As I have been preparing for this trip I have been reminded of the sober realities I will face in a third world county. Yesterday I made an appointment to obtain malaria medication and today I purchased malaria nets and travel insurance. But God is good and I look forward to all that he has in store for me while I am there. I am so thankful that God opened this door and cannot wait to share about all my adventures in Haiti!

  

An Unexpected Journey: Haiti Update

It's been about two years since I've blogged. I thought multiple times about writing another blog post and started writing one several times, never finishing. I know many of you are praying for my upcoming trip to Haiti, here is my attempt to keep you updated.

For those of you who don't know, I was planning to visit a missionary family in Haiti in mid August for two weeks. The family are members of my church and moved to Haiti in April of 2013 to help rebuild a church and work with the people of Haiti. Their youngest daughter Courtney has diabetes and went into diabetic ketoacidosis about two weeks ago. The family sought urgent medical treatment in Haiti and plan on seeking additional medical treatment here in the US. Little Courtney and her mom came back to the US last Saturday with the rest of the family planning to fly back here later this week. It is uncertain when they will be back in Haiti. Please keep them in your prayers as I'm sure this is a very difficult time for them.

This leads me to the update on my current situation. I have plane tickets to Haiti but no clear direction on what I will be doing while I am there. I have been talking to a gentleman who has been on mission trips to Haiti and has a connection with an orphanage down there as well as with my old youth pastor whose in-laws are missionaries with the Baptist Haiti Mission. There are no guarantees that either of these will work out. God is sovereign. Although I can't understand why he has has given me the desire to go to Haiti I know that “his thoughts are higher than my thoughts, his ways higher than my ways.” Wherever He leads me, whatever door he opens and path he leads me down, I know it is for a reason and for His glory.

During this time of waiting and leaning on Him for directions I feel He is reminding me to seek Him more deeply in prayer. I have been rereading a book called Deepening the Soul for Justice by Bethany Hoang. In it she writes that “if our attempts to seek justice do not begin with the work of prayer, we will be worn and weary.” She goes on to further say that “More often than not we are so eager to jump straight into whatever we perceive to be 'action' that we distract ourselves from the very practices that must form, inform, and even transform our action- the very practices that must form us if our action is to be wise, effective, and sustained throughout the inevitable obstacles and distractions to come.” I find that it is easy to dream big dreams but to lose focus of the day to day work that God has for me to do, and the day to day practices that must inform how I live my life, such as prayer. While going to Haiti is good in and of itself, I know that I cannot allow that to distract me from the day to day work God wants me to do here. While I am in this pattern of waiting I look forward to drawing closer to God and seeking His will. Your prayers are coveted as I continue to trust Him and rely on His leading. Thank You!